forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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