I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
