Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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