Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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