Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
