Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize