I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
