now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
