I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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