We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
