my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
