cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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