As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
