You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
