Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
