hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
