just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
