This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
as a side note pls kill me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
