We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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