final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize