she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
