Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize