Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
