im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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