Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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