So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
