I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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