break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whose parrot is this?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
