the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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