remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize