brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
