I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
