I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
