Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
