The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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