he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
