just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
