Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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