he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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