In the future we'll all be gay
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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