Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
