do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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