You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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