I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
