I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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