Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
