yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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