so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
