you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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