I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
