This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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