Actions speak louder than pants.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
