are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Your penis caused this!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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