I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
