I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
