We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize