I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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