my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize