Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
