I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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