Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
