i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My ATM looks so different sober.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
